Get on down to Momi-Chan's!

Found a new club in SL that is a great place for guys and the femme with something extra to mix and mingle. Tomomi Fukai has recently opened a great casual, and tastefully decorated little "cafe" looking place called "Momi-chan's."  The place reminiscent of a lovely cafe you'd find in So Cal, or maybe the South of France?  It provides scenic overlooks of the sea, both indoors and out, to plant your virtual bottom and hang out.  There is both a single and couple dance machine.  And it is adult, so there is a Jacuzzi and a small private room for the pixel boom boom.

But that's not really the primary purpose.  Tomomi-san wanted to provide a place where those who present in SL as male, can mingle with those who present as something in between.  In a welcoming atmosphere that is not saturated with erotic images, and not full of those who to quote from numerous profiles, "Have no interest in men."  So, if you like to flirt, maybe be a bit romantic, or just chat with people who share some of your particular interests, this is a wonderful place.

So guys who like gurls, and the gurls who like them, you really should stop on by!

This is a snapshot of me, in some of my new mesh "finery," having a beverage with the owner Tomomi-san.

Storms in Ireland

I recently found a new scenic spot in SL.  It's a pair of regions, one called Empress & Hierophant, the other Inis Caiseal.  The place is a great and atmospheric build. It is usually (though not always it seems) storming.  Rain and lightening scatter across the dark sky and make the place feel cold and artfully melancholy. The local music streams, which seem to vary from parcel to parcel, play various Celtic folk music sources.  The place is lettered with quaint cottages and herds of sheep.  And is simply a great place to go and sit your avatar down on a wind tossed beach, the kick back to listen to the surf and the gulls.  A place to have some in world alone time for inventory maintenance, or multiple IMs, or whatever.  Or, if you want a nice romantic snugly place to take your hunny bunny, this would be hard to beat!  Do keep in mind though, this is not adult.

Here's me in a neat little number from ADN, scarf from SF Design, hat (with blond hair) from MADD and boots from Grumble.  Outside near a bonfire, and in one of the cottages near a fire place.

A week on counter Earth. (AKA Gor)

If you are not familiar with Gor and wish to become educated, go to Google and do a search.  Or, if you want a more scholarly summary, go to Wikipedia.  For the seriously lazy and uninformed, here is my over simplified explanation of Gor.

Gor, an alien planet seeded with humans by an advanced alien species.  Said aliens (Called Priest Kings) use advanced technology to keep the now native human cultures, plucked from various times and places on Earth, at a pre-steam level of technology.  The cultures of the planet seem to have fixated on the concept that "might makes right" and behave accordingly.  Consequently, slavery and violence are endemic.

Gor was created as the setting for a series of books by the author John Norman.  Many people will tell you many things about what Mr. Norman meant to convey in those books.  My personal theory is that he, at least initially, meant them as an "answer" to the feminist and communal doctrines of the time.  The first books were published in the mid 60s after all.  It is considered Science Fiction, and one of the purposes of SF is to pose difficult questions.  To present ideas distanced from our every day life in a way that lets one consider them with less of a "gut" reaction.  So a SF series that was counter to the liberated thought of the day, would go a long way to allowing a person to consider those deeply emotional topics at a bit of a distance.

Since then, in many venues, the "lifestyle of Gor" has been the basis for roleplay, and perhaps even RL behavior.  I understand that, over the years, in any sort of internet social chat venue you can name, you are likely to find Goreans lurking.  Yahoo, Virtual Places, IRC, etc.  And there is a very large population of "Goreans" in SL.  These Goreans have created subcontinents of combined estates, parcels, hubs, markets, even one or more streaming "radio stations."  All revolving around "living out" being of Gor.

I read some of the books in the Gor series as a young person.  And, I admit, at the time, sheltered, flooded with hormones and very confused about things sexual, I was rather taken with them.  The concepts were certainly exciting.  Lately, I tried going back and re-reading some of the books.  I am sad to say, some twenty plus years later, I do not find the books enjoyable at all.  The main protagonist, Tarl Cabot, is one of the most loathsome characters it has ever been my misfortune to read about.  And frankly, I do not find Mr. Norman's writing style...Enthralling.

When I got into SL, almost four years ago now, I soon discovered the adult side of things.  And while I went there to learn to build things, being an adult, I peeked.  And was quite intrigued by many things.  One was the large Gorean community.  But I dug a bit deeper, and had several unpleasant experiences.  So I steered clear for the next three years or so.  Occasionally I would bump into a "Gorean," and in nearly every case, they reinforced my early impressions. 

Those impressions were of a group of people who were locked into a rigid and complex set of behaviors that validated violence, antisocial behavior (AkA being an asshole), misogyny and discouraged any sort of truly imaginative role playing.  But these were impressions.  I had never really delved into things Gorean.  Not like I have so many other aspects of human behavior as manifested in SL.  However, you can't go far, especially in any venue that is in any way friendly to BDSM, without bumping into things Gorean.  For example, so called "silks," are essentially, as presented in SL, a Gorean thing.  Various animations used by collars and other scripted items, such as "nadu" are, again, inventions of the Gorean community.

Then about three weeks ago, I was chatting with a friend in SL about religion.  And I made the off the cuff comment that it appalled me that so many people dismissed other belief systems as totally wrong and worthless, without ever becoming educated about them.  The next day, I was chatting with a new friend, who shares many of my tastes.  Including my preferences for the general type of avatar I manifest in SL.  This same person, was active in a Gorean group and spoke highly of it.  Even going so far as to encouraging me to join in.  Before I could turn down the offer, my comment about religion came back to me.  And it seemed, that I was, to put it crudely, talking out of my ass, any time I talked about Gor in SL.  I had never really "been there, done that."  So...I said, OK.

Wham, bam, thank you mam, I am very shortly thereafter inducted in the role of a collared Kajira (slave) to a tribe of Panthers (free females who spurn men) and kicked off the end of the pier into deep Gorean waters without a life preserver.  I had counted on my friend to be there for a bit of guidance, but she was, sadly, for the next several days, not around.  And my new "owners" took no time to instruct me on things Gorean.

Luckily, I have access to the Web.  I'm a fast learner, and I can figure things out pretty well from context.  Add in the occasional question in IM, and I was off and running in about a day.  For example, one of the things that slaves are expected to do is serve beverages.  On Gor, this is not simply a matter of pouring a drink.  It's practically epic poetry or advanced performance art.  Quick searches on Google for "Gorean Serves" and my ability to adapt and emote meant that on the few occasions I was called on to "serve" I did well enough to actually get a compliment on one occasion.  Likewise, I was only "taken to the furs" once in my stay.  But again, I seemed to do well enough.

The most fun I had while on Gor, was when a rival tribe of Panthers raided and I, along with two other slaves, were stolen.  We subsequently escaped and made our way back to our tribe.  In the process I learned a great deal that I think is at the core of what attracts many people to this "Gorean Lifestyle" in SL, or as I've seen it called, "Disney Gor."

What did I learn?  In a word, structure.  A lot of people are interested in things BDSM.  Walk into an adult shop anywhere in the US and I bet you can find handcuffs and some sort of flogger, at minimum.  Probably gags, masks, and other things as well.  But in RL, and in the general free form world of adult sims in SL, you have to find someone with compatible tastes.  Figure out limits, interests, come up with ideas, implement them, etc. etc.

In Gor, you shoot them with your virtual bow, or stick them with your virtual weapon, and thanks to the "Gorean Meter" system, they collapse and you can tie them up.  Then you haul them off to your camp, fortress, etc.  Once there, you act out whatever scenarios you wish that do not violate the clearly stated limits of your playmate, er...Victim.  In addition, people can play various dominance games, keeping track in many ways.  How many slaves have you captured?  How many opponents vanquished with your pixel pointed stick?  How many people have you persuaded to join your group?  Who has been more effective posturing as a strong dominant type?  (I saw an amazing amount of nearly school yard level "verbal" posturing in the short week I was in Gor.)  I can see this being attractive the same way I can see Disney parks being fun, say as compared to spending a day free and at loose ends.

As it happened, the person who ended up as my "owner" in Gor, and I, were not really compatible.  So after a week of wasting a lot of time, I decided to gracefully exit stage left.  I do not claim to be an expert on things Gorean in SL after a week.  But I now feel I can speak with some authority on it, at least within my limited experience.  And what do I have to say?

• First and foremost, while I enjoy BDSM, either as a top or a bottom, Gor is not my thing.

• Second, not all Goreans are asshats.  Many are folks who simply enjoy the role playing structure that the Gorean "lifestyle" presents.  

• All Goreans are not created the same.  There are BTB (By The Book) and GE (Gor Enchanced) Goreans.  I obviously prefer the GE folks since as far as I know, there has as yet been no book published titled "Transvestites of Gor" or something similar.  Though I did see a fake cover painting of that book once at a Science Fiction convention.  (Did I mention I am a serious nerd, and have always been one?)  The GE Goreans use the Gorean Meter system and other tools, as well as the general precepts and behaviors that are archetypicaly Gorean, but they add to them as suits their wants.  Such as Kajiras with something extra. 

• SL Gor, as presented within my experience, sadly, does lend itself to perpetuating many of the negative stereotypes found in the BDSM community.

All that said, if you like Gor and enjoy RPing in a Gorean sim, go you!  Have fun.  That's a good part of what SL is about after all.  Folks having fun together.

The light was just right.

I wasn't planning on making a new profile snapshot today.  But as I wandered around at Miko's beach, the winlight settings and a local source just hit a lovely look.  I fired up the camera and model poses, tried on different clothes and snapped like two dozen shots.  One, I liked.  I added the Babylon 5 quote that was in my last profile shot.  It seemed to create a number of comments, and it just appeals to me.  And...Well, here's what I ended up with.

The hat and sandals are both from SF Design.  The off the shoulder cover up is from Grumble.

A mess of mesh meshes.

Okay, I know, I'm harping on it.  But really, there are just some things that mesh does better.  And here is a good example in several knit items I've recently picked up.

The ponchos and sweater dress are all from Grumble.  The boots with the black poncho, Bootgasm, the boots with the dress ADN, the boots with the brown poncho, Grumble.  Pants are ADN in both cases.  I was dancing the other night in these, and the way they followed my avatar's movements was much more realistic than any prim object clothing could ever manage.  And in the cases of the ponchos, you simply can not make something quite like this with the standard clothing layers.  I like mesh.  Not for everything, but sure as heck, I like it for knit mesh items like these.

Why I like mesh.

As soon as I heard about mesh, I knew three things.  It was going to be a pain in the ass.  It was going to seriously change SL, at least how SL looked.  And, once designers started to get the hang of it, I'd like it.

I can make all sorts of comments.  How it's not quite mature yet.  How it seems to be forcing people to standardize shapes because you can't re-size it.  And, that mesh is not better for everything.  I think designers should really stop trying to make mesh everything.  Instead, work toward figuring out how to make really good mesh SOME things.  All that said, here is a visual, of how SL's fashions have evolved along with yours truly.  From left to right.  All mesh, all prim, mostly clothing layer with a few prims.  And to help compare, skins that I wore in the years listed.

 Nuff Said.

Growing some fur.

One of the communities of SL that has always made me both curious and a bit confused were the furries.  Folks who felt that they were most comfy with avatars that consisted of, to some degree, animal parts.  I have learned that there are "hybrids."  Like the "nekos,"  or cat people of SL.  That many of the furries are "anthropomorphic," a look consisting of some elements of the human and some of the animal.  And there are so called, "ferals."  The latter are avatars that are intended to completely represent a specific animal.

I never really managed to find that part of me that was happy with being furry.  Until recently.  A friend of mine showed up wearing the mesh Blue Galaxy cat avatar and I was very taken with the round, cartoony, yet adorable look.  Then I stumbled across the works of an artist known as Miu.

Miu, Bonk and Jay Naylor are artists that create adorable, yet very adult and sexy, "cartoons."  The character Rio, who I've since found out is an girly male anthro lion, was particularly appealing to me.  Given this recent rush of inspiration I could do no less than create a furry avatar for myself.  I went to the SL market place and spent several hours looking at all the the literally hundreds of options.  Eventually, I narrowed it down to two.  One a mouse, the other a rabbit.  The rabbit was free, so I decided to try it.  If I did not like it, I could always purchase the mouse.

I picked up the mesh rabbit avatar, and fell in love.  It was almost the same size as my human avatar, so many clothing items could be traded back and forth.  Also, I've always loved Bugs Bunny, and looking like his femboi nephew is a pretty cool thing in my book!  So, here they are, my new furry look, and Rio, Miu's creation and my inspiration.

Ladyboy Look

I've had various comments over time as I've bounced around SL.  And comparing my avatar to others, I seem short, skinny, flat and dark skinned.  I have received comments saying I looked "black."  I have received many comments saying I seemed boyish.  Well, my only reply is that I tried, within the limits I found imposed by a very tight Linden budget and the other constraints put on me by the way Second Life renders and warps the avatars in it.  I hoped to emulate and honor those lovely creatures of Thailand, but there is only so much I can do with the tools at hand. 

Given that, I feel I have done credibly.  I set out, on deciding not to have a male avatar, to create a look that was as close to the etherealy attractive transgenders often called "Kathoey."  Thai "transvestites."  But, since I am not overly familiar with Thai culture, I wanted to look a bit "mixed."  To that end, over time, I have put together a look that I feel is very much "me."  Below are pictures of my avatar, and some of Thai transgenders that inspired me.  I hope you agree, I have managed a credible job given the constraints.

RLV: Not for me. (And Collar Posing)

This post is mostly for people I am "scening with" in SL.  To follow most of this, you'll need a familiarity with Second Life and the Restrained Love API.  Commonly called RLV because it was originally created by an SL resident (Marine Kelly) as one of the early 3rd party viewers.  And the viewer was called, Restrained Life Viewer.  You can read about it at http://www.erestraint.com/realrestraint/.  I, and all the BDSM community in SL, owe her thanks for giving us such a wonderful addition to our second lives.

And there is a BDSM community in SL, and I guess you could say I'm a member.  In fact, you could almost say that in adult sims, BDSM is ubiquitous.  And I used to have RLV turned on in my viewer.  But over time I learned that this wasn't for me.  Here are the reasons why:

1. I often wander SL alone.  Get stuck in an RLV trap while alone and you are trapped indeed.  Getting out requires relogging.
2. I have a number of playmates, and not all have been skilled using RLV.
3. I have a number of attachments and clothing layers that should not be removed.  Prim feet, naughty bits, tattoos, etc.  Yet these can be accidentally removed easily now that many objects are attached to the same point.  And if "locked on," it seems that items that should come off in those areas, won't.
4. I like to shop, club, explore and change my look.  With RLV turned on cuffs, collars and bondage gear that is "locked" cannot be removed without a relog back into a viewer that is not RLV.  This reduces my "fun" quotient.  SL is about fun and creativity to me.  So that is bad.
5. I think this has been fixed in the newest OC gear, but not in everything.  But once upon a time if you were posed by a collar "owner."  You could not change your pose or get out of it.  If they leave, or crash, without releasing you, you are stuck in that pose unless you relog without RLV.

Notice all of these issues are solved by turning off RLV.  I can still be leashed.  If desired I can be posed.  For those that enjoy the restraints, go for it.  If you have a "permanent" owner, I can understand leaving it on and limiting access only to them.  But for someone like me, RLV is more a pain than a pleasure.

On posing: 

I also don't like other people to pose me.  RLV  and collars are supposed to give us the ability to make SL more like RL.  In RL, unless there is something going on I don't know about, dominants do not have the power to telepathically mind control others into a specific position.  So why do they in SL?

They can say (like in RL), kneel, or whatever and I'd lay odds I can do it faster than they can.  Likewise they can roleplay any action RLV permits and I will take care of the complexity of making it happen.  I can remove a clothing item for example without accidentally removing the naughty bits.  I can typically find and sit on the right pose ball, add items, etc.  All quickly and without the dominant having to wade through menus.

That's just how I roll.  Again, I'm not saying these things can't be fun or useful in certain contexts.

And for your viewing pleasure, me in a collar.

Been a while, so let's talk Mesh

As is common in the fall I've been busy, so no updates for a couple of months.  Then recently, I've finally managed to get back into SL frequently.  So, the first thing I do is go shopping!  I've recently found some places that make really cute mesh gear in the sorts of styles I like.  Grumble my old "go to shop" has quite a few mesh things, some I even like.  But these new places are smaller and more focused.  I'm wearing something from each of them in the shot below taken at Ladyboy Beach.  I'm the one in the middle of course.

The places are:

• Slave Dressing Room:  Basically a silk shop.  Very Gorean.  But she also makes non-Gorean things.  The boots I'm wearing are hers.  Those and another very similar style, 99L for both!  She also has some great mini-dresses.  And frankly, if you are into silks, this shop has some of the better ones I've seen.  The shop group is 10L to join, but the pile of group gifts is way worth it.  Prim feet, mesh feet, silks, dresses and make ups!

• Happy Undead:  She doesn't have a big inventory, but what she has is nice and reasonably priced.  The micro-mini is hers.  150L, comes in many colors and a couple of styles.  She has a other styles to boot, and small inventory of other nice things.  Including a mini-dress and other styles of skirts.

•  Stinky Kitty:  The short hoodie I'm wearing is from there.  Mainly intended for the furry folks in SL, us regular humans are welcome too.  I'm a bit too thin for some of her stuff (Be very Sure to try the demos before you buy.) but this item fits me well, and I think is adorable. 

The corset is good old fashioned clothing layer that I've had forever, the hair, some from Grumble I moded with the colored bangs.

Why mesh?  Many of the things I've seen come out in mesh haven't thrilled me.  But if you have ever gotten any prim over the knee boots, or a micro-mini with the prim panel?  You know how hard it is to get them to fit right.  Then when you bend your knees, the boots usually deform.  The prim panel in the dress can stick out oddly, and in some lights wont look the same shade (Sometimes you look like you have a made a mess on your dress!).  Mesh solves these issues.  The boots are one piece and move with your leg, bending correctly.  The mesh skirt is all of a piece and actually flexes with your avatar's movements.  For longer dresses mesh is okay, it doesn't give you the flowing feeling you get with flexi-prims.  I wonder if any designers will make longer skirts or formals using both mesh and flexis.  The result might be quite remarkable.  You do have to find a style that comes in a size that's right for you, the downside of mesh is that, for now at least, one size no longer fits most.